1. i find it hard to sleep last night

2. there were a few things bothering my mind

3. things i wish i could just ignore and feelings i wish i could just let go

4. but they don't seem to want to leave me?

5. sigh..

6. i keep waking up at every hour.. check the time on my mobile phone (my wrist watch isn't working anymore..) and it was still too early to wake up..

7. and i would go back to sleep..

8. suddenly, i saw her.. she was pretty as she was years before her health deteriorate.. and she was much taller.. 

9. there we were standing in our old kitchen (the home that i love most..).. and she was cooking.. it was chicken.. and she said, "this is going to be our last chicken meal for now.. the chicken price has increased and we can't afford it anymore. i'm sorry".. 

10. tears build up in my eyes.. i hugged her so tight that i could actually feel her.. it felt surreal though it is just a dream.. i felt her long golden brown hair in my face.. her motherly smell.. i hugged her tighter not wanting to ever let her go again.. and i told her, "i dont mind even if i dont get anything to eat at all.. as long as i will always be with you.."

11. when i opened my eyes, there i was in my bedroom, hugging tight my teddy bears, amaise & jimmy.. sigh.. it was just a dream.. my cheeks were damp and tears were still flowing though i wasn't sobbing or anything.. 

12. sigh.. all i want is to be with her.. give me gold, give me the world, give me anything - i wont want them.. i want her.. i want her and nothing but her.. i'd go to hell if that means that i could live with her forever.. i would.. 

13. i miss her.. terribly..