been listening to never again - justin timberlake over and over again on the player..

Sadness has me at the end of the line
Helpless watched you break this heart of mine

it hurt so much.. the pain.. u feel it deep down ur heart (literally..) your chest would hurt so much when u feel that super massive sadness and frustration in your heart.. God.. why does a beautiful thing has to be so hurtful.. feels like the heart just shatters into a million pieces.. it feels as if there's a heavy load bringing it down.. that it would never resurface to breath.. never.. and you lost the feel of the need for air to breath.. and you just sat there crying your eyes out not bothering to breathe another breath.. sigh

Would have given up my life for you
........
And I believed you 'cause I loved you more than life

yes.. more than life.. at this point of time, i guess some people would wanna flush their heart down the loo.. i'd rather just tell it to stop beating and perish.. 

i dont understand..

each time, we had to fake the sadness we had building inside and put on a happy smile on our face.. every single time.. will this go on forever.. pretending we are not mad when we are.. pretending we are not sad when we are crying secretly in the bathroom.. pretending we are alright with it when our heart is so broken, there's nothing left.. and so we pretend..and die slowly inside..